Dear Bones
by LAIsobel
Summary: One-shot short story about B&B. It's about what happened before Booth wrote the letter 'Dear Bones' and what happened after that and why he wrote it at all. Warning - sort of sad story... Enjoy it though! NOW REPOSTED! YUPEE!


**Originally written 06-19-08 and reposted 02-07-11. Again I tried to correct just the grammar – I didn't try to change to story or those sentences. Well - I tried to break the paragraphs into smaller ones... gosh people they were pretty long! Well, anyway, I wrote this so long ago and yeah, it looks like that… hehe… but we all had to start with something so… this was one of my first stories. And geeez guys I posted it in June 2008 and look what happened on the show? Hehe… Crazy :o)**

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**Disclaimer** – Just the plot is mine, nothing more.

**Spoilers** – Nothing particularly I believe.

**Author's note** – OK, so I made this once in the night when I had some troubles with falling asleep. It's just little sad something. It's written mainly from Booth's POV, just the end is from Brennan's POV. For now I posted it as a complete one shot story but please let me know what you think, should I leave it as a complete story or should I add something more? I am clueless at this point so please help me a little. Just mail me and let me know, all right? Thanks.

And about the genre and rating... I am not sure, not even a little, sorry. It was hard to pick up the right ones. I hope I didn't make wrong choices.

And mistakes are all mine. I am so sorry about them. I tried to correct them but I am not sure that I succeeded.

So I let you read and enjoy this story.

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**DEAR BONES**

He was sitting alone in her office in the Institute. There was nothing but loneliness. The cold solitude was everywhere around him, he was wrapped in it. No one else should be there in the Institute; he was supposed to be alone there in this late night hour. At least he didn't see anyone when he was there to hide himself from the world outside. They all were usually leaving after their working time at five o'clock except Bones of course. She was usually staying late in the lab, but today she told him she had some meeting so she had to left the Institute early, in the time like others.

It's somehow funny how he got used to this lab in the last two years. Yeah, those last two years that have changed everything. Were they the most difficult of his adult independent life? In some ways they were. So much pain, so much fear, so much changes. Right now he felt empty. Emptiness filled him and there was nothing he could do to fight with that.

Sudden thought popped out in his mind. Was it too late for her to come here? Yeah, she was somewhere on the meeting she was speaking about tonight. But he asked Angela and she told him that it was not a date. So… was she at home? Was she sitting somewhere in some park? Was she with Angela? Or did she lie to him and Bones was with some guy right now?

Some other thoughts came to his mind without warning. Was she thinking about him? Did she hate him? How did she felt? Was she feeling anything at all? Yeah, she was his partner, they were friends and they were colleagues. They trusted each other. They could rely on each other. But something… something was different between them.

They shouldn't have done that. He was supposed to stop that in the beginning. But how? She put her trust in him to watch the line he created to save them both from doing something stupid. He should have saved them from something like the thing they did, he should have been the rational one but it happened to them anyway. And it was hurting now. Probably both of them.

It was so easy to get lost in your own thoughts. It was too damn easy and dangerous. Could he afford it? Certainly not. But could he help himself from being stupid? Could he help himself? No and no and no… Hell he was a grown man! Yes, he was adult. But after all he just found out how vulnerable he was. He sat down in her office, behind her table. She'd kill him if she find out. His own mind devoured him. It was full of memories, full of dreams, full of hopes. And he was lost.

When he saw her for the first time she was a typical squint, lab rat, cold and rational woman, completely devoured by her job. She was sexy but there was something abhorrent about her. He couldn't find out what that was. He was not engaged in her beauty face or her perfect body, there was something else that caught his attention and made him breathe sharply. Her eyes. Those magnificent, deep, piercing blue eyes. He felt like he was hypnotized by them. He suddenly couldn't control his actions, he wanted just one thing, he needed – he longed to touch her. And in the moment he took a step closer and she was standing almost at the same spot as he was his breathing stopped.

His mind was settled on one certain thing. Her lips. Kissing her lips. Forbidden but longed-for. He knew very well he was not allowed to touch her and most of all he would never get a chance to kiss her on her lips, to taste her. But what harm would do just to touch her face with a single finger? Only to trace her jaw line, to feel her skin under his fingers.

He was pretty sure what a single touch would do to him. One lustful movement of his hand on her face and he would be lost forever. And to his own shock he admitted that he wanted that more than anything. But he couldn't do that. He was not that type of man. He couldn't make himself to look at her body; he was captured by her eyes. It never happened to him before.

When he walked away from her he felt like someone was watching him. He turned around and caught her staring at him. Well, it looked like that they both felt the tension between them. They both saw those sparkles around them in the air. The first meeting left something strange in them both. Impression so strange that none of them could place it.

Day by day, case by case it was happening more often. He was staring at her, longing for any chance to touch her, seeking her presence. He wanted to touch her, to caress her. Sometimes he wanted even more to be touched by her hands, to feel her fondle him. Yeah, he was sick man, she was his partner and this was forbidden. Strictly. And they both were supposed to have that on mind. They were partners. Shit, he was fascinated with the look she was giving him every time when there was a challenge between them.

He felt lust for her from the first day. Pure lust for that incredible woman.

But soon he figured out that her mind and personality were even more interesting than her figure was. He was sure that he'd never feel her naked body pressed against his own. He felt sorry about it partially and partially he was relieved. He was the FBI agent that was supposed to be the strong and the 'adhere-the-regulations-person'.

But despite that from the first minute he was almost certain that there'd be troubles and it wouldn't be always nice to be with Bones in one room. Heck! There would be too many conflicts and none of them would end in explosion of lust and desire.

From the first time he felt the connection they had. Some strange physical attraction has developed between them in the first moment they have met. But none of them would admit that. They would never be a couple.

And what about him? He had to live as an orderly man. He couldn't mix personal stuff with the job. Yeah, he was with her for the first day in the field and he already needed a cold shower but that could happen to anyone. He wanted what was forbidden and that was the most shocking and exciting about it all. He wanted her.

And that have never changed. They were working together for two years now and it was still the same as it was the first day. The only thing that was different was the fact that day by day he has been finding out more and more interesting things about her. He wanted her more, he loved her more, and he needed her more. He was getting more and more lost.

Whenever she was standing by his side, anytime she was saying something, anytime she was the one who was giving orders, anytime she was friendly and kind and caring and scared and even pissed, she couldn't have an idea about what was running through his head and how much it was hurting him that she was by his side but not in his arms.

He wanted to share every single thought with her. In the beginning the consonance between them seemed to be unreal, but now it was different. He started to believe that it was possible. And – they already had the consonance.

He let his instincts and cravings to control him. Simple connection of their bodies and even their pure existences had to bring them the biggest ecstasy that could be experienced in life. Nothing but the two of them. Their bodies. Their breathing. Their lust. Their passion. The curse they were sharing. Oh this was not possible. It would never work. Never. He needed to stay in touch with his rational side and never allow anything to happen.

At first he thought that she was cold and emotionless. He was so wrong about her in so many ways. But now he knew who she was. Yeah, they both still had their secrets but not as many as they used to. He found out how emotional and caring and sensitive she was. She was listening to her heart despite the fact how logical and scientific and rational she usually was.

She had her conscience. She was so…human. He was trying really badly not to think about her hot breath tickling him on his neck or on his back, about her soft touch on his skin anywhere on his body, about her lips kissing him anywhere she'd want. He was slowly going crazy… But this all would fade away. It had to. There was no other choice.

When it was freezing outside he wanted to be with her, to feel her body heat. When it was hot outside he wanted her to undress him and then be with him somewhere in the cold water. No talking at all. Just touching. Anywhere. Everywhere. Just to sit by her side and drink from one cup. To cuddle together in nights under the sky full of stars. He wanted to keep her safe in his arms. She was the only thing he could think about all the time. Her eyes, her voice, her body, her hair, her smile, her laughter, her looks, her touch. There was nothing else on his mind. Just his partner.

He almost went crazy when he woke up and she was sitting in chair by his bed in his apartment. He was looking at her while she was still asleep. She was so beautiful. He was about to get up and take her to that bed with him. But she woke up and smiled at him. She told him to stay in bed; there was no space for arguing at this point.

She sat on the bed so close to him, caressed his cheek with her hand. The way his body reacted to that was something unbearable. He just hoped she didn't notice. She told him that he hadn't come to work and he hadn't been answering his calls so she went to his apartment to see if he was all right. She found him with high temperature so she stayed. She was scared. She cared about him. He was looking, no, he was staring at her. Oh the way she was moving…

It had been three horrible days since they lost their control. They passed so much together, they were so close now. So many awful cases, so many dead people, lost loved ones. But they were alive. They were walking side by side and he just couldn't help it. He wanted her. Yeah, FBI Agent, catholic, with a child and without a wife was lusting for the famous forensic anthropologist he was working with for over two years. He accompanied her home. He was just too reluctant to let her go.

She opened the door to her apartment and turned around to look into his eyes. Their gazes locked. She leaned her back for support against the door frame. He took another step towards her. Again they were standing almost on the same spot. They were breathing heavily and with bodies pressed together it was just too difficult to resist the urge that they felt. They both were agitated.

Time stopped for them.

He couldn't stand it any longer. She wasn't fighting with him. He could read it in her eyes that she was his. She wanted that too. Her desires and passion reached the point where she couldn't ignore them anymore. She pulled him to her and kissed him deeply and passionately. It was like another battle for the leading position in the partnership, but this time there wouldn't be any winner. They were both equally in this.

The kiss was short but it took the air from their lungs. They were not able to breathe. They couldn't. They didn't even try because it was pointless. They both felt the same thing. They just managed to get into her apartment without breaking eye contact. Before they reached her sofa, he was without his shirt and she lost her dress.

It was like they both knew what the other wanted right at that time. He was touching her slowly and voluptuously. He kissed her every once a while. When his lips left hers or her body she groaned and tried to pull him back where he was. She didn't want him to stop those things he was doing. The first kiss was on her forehead, then he took his way south.

She was moaning and was not able to control herself. It was driving him wild even more. When he came back to her mouth she put her arms around his neck and firmly held him to be able to kiss him deeply the way she wanted to. He let her. This was something for two to do. With one hand he was caressing her hair and with the other one he traced her spine from her neck down to her beautiful backside. They felt down to her sofa wrapped in each other's arms and thirsty about more and more kissing and touching.

They both were on the same wave. This was not going to be soft and gentle. Yes, he planned that to happen that way, but it was just impossible. The first time couldn't happen that way. It was happening exactly in the rhythm their partnership had.

They felt down to the ground, she was lying on him. But when he looked into her eyes he saw there something that scared him to death. She was crying. In the time he was about to take her to bed and make love to her, to feel everything with her, to became one with her, she pinned him to the ground and lifted herself a little.

He wasn't exactly sure what was going on but she stopped her actions and stood up. His tries to catch her and make her talk to him were pointless. In the moment he fully realized what was going on, she was already wrapped in the blanket from the sofa. From the look in her eyes he could tell how sorry she was and how much she was suffering. He was about to ask her what was going on when she spoke up.

She told him that they couldn't do that. Her voice was cold. Too much for him to try anything again. His heart was broken in that moment. He was sure he couldn't die because of broken heart but he wished he could have. He picked up everything that was laying on the way from the door to the couch and walked away without saying goodbye. When he closed the door he sat down on the ground. He could hear her scream and cry.

He never understood what the hell just happened.

Next day they both were acting like professionals. They had no other choice. There was a case to be solved and they couldn't be replaced. Yeah, they had another choice than being just partners but they … failed. They tried that and something went very wrong and now they were both closed and everything that was between them was lost. They were pretending that nothing happened. They were both sure that Angela figured out something but she didn't ask them. She actually didn't talk to them at all.

He was thinking about her all the time. He'd like not to but it was something out of his power to decide. It was beyond his control. His mind was full of her kisses. And of his own that he gave her. He kissed her on the forehead, cheeks, eyelids, ears, he kissed her mouth. He kissed her on her neck, he was nuzzling it. She was encouraging him by those sounds she was emitting. He kissed her between her breasts. In that moment she dug her nails into his back. And he almost screamed in pleasure. He continued his way down on her body and she was so close to the edge just by that. He could feel that. There were sparkles everywhere when he took away her bra. He sucked on her breast and she screamed. He grasped her hips.

He was afraid that he was crushing her when they were lying on the sofa, she underneath him, but by her actions he could tell that she wanted him even closer than he had already been. He tasted her skin everywhere she let him. Her body was so hot and desirable.

Oh how much he wanted to feel her pressed against him once more. That excitement that was everywhere around them. He wanted to feel the desire that was controlling them. He wanted to feel the passion that stole them their rationality and made them want more and more and made them scream and gasp again.

He wished for them to reach the edge together in way they have never been through it before. Her hot breath. And his sweating body. So much desirable. He'd swear she liked him more when his body was sweating. Yeah, hormones. He was prepared to give himself to her without asking anything in return and she left him.

They both were left alone, hurt, broken, disappointed, and empty. They lost their pride. They both were aching. Like there was no tomorrow for them. They lost everything that was making them the best team. They lost trust and devotion.

And now he was sitting in her lab and his head was full of her. It was one o'clock in the morning and the only thing he was hoping for was to get a chance to talk to her. Maybe pin her to the wall and make her spill everything she had on her mind. And most of all he'd like to tell her what he decided for. He wished to be able to touch her once more, kiss her once more, and hear her voice. And then kill her. Shit. No, make love to her, love her. Be the only one she would ever want.

His decision was firm. There was nothing that could change it. There was just one choice for him what to do to save their work and everything they were fighting for. There was just one right thing to do if he wanted to save her. He'd rather die than to see her in that pain and desperation again.

He couldn't be with her anymore and without her there was no place for him in DC. Not even the presence of his son could change his decision. He was crying. Every of his attempts to stop were useless. It was just too much for him. He was in his army uniform. His bag prepared in his apartment. He needed just to pick it up on the way to the airport in the morning. He left her office. The only thing that he left there was a gift and a letter.

He took his way to her apartment. He knocked but no one answered the door. He tried her phone but she didn't answer it either. But he could see the lights on so he took his key to her main door and opened them. He tried to announce himself but then he heard the music coming from the bathroom. OK, that was the reason why she wasn't answering him.

He tried his luck and walked deeper into her personal space - into her apartment. He found several little things that reminded him in whose apartment he was. He came to her bedroom. On her bed were some clothes probably prepared for her to change into. He took the t-shirt and sniffed at it. It was the unique perfume she had. He was almost crying again. He thought for a moment about joining her in the bathroom but he decided not to. She might not be alone there. He just couldn't walk in there and find her with another man. That would kill him.

He was sitting there on her bed, her clothes in his hands. He was savoring the moment. He was suddenly lightly aroused by the thought what was he doing. She was there, so damn close and still out of the reach. He felt empty and with broken heart. He had to free himself from her. Or they wouldn't be able to work together. That was the reason why was he wearing the uniform… that was the reason why he made that damned decision.

He just refused to admit how much he has been in love with her and how much he wanted her. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice her standing wrapped in towel watching him. She was in shock a little. Booth was toying with her t-shirt on her bed in his uniform. And he was crying. What did it mean? What the hell was going on?

He spotted her. He stood up still with her t-shirt in his hand. She was the only thing he could think about. And there she was, beautiful and just in a towel. They were staring into each other's eyes. He could see how confused she was and she could see how broken he was. She hated herself and he hated himself. She was suddenly crying as well. Things were making sense now. She understood. Or at least she thought so.

He was about to say something, she was about to say something, both crying and shaking, both scared and lonely when the electricity went out. There was dark everywhere. He stood up. Her t-shirt was put on the bed again. He walked away from the bedroom and in the moment he was passing her he told her 'goodbye I love you' and kissed her.

He put every single feeling he had towards her in that deep sweet kiss and she understood that all. She reached out for him to stop him on his way when he tried to walk away and pulled him closer. She kissed him once more. This kiss lasted what seemed to be eternity and they both lost themselves in it. She was about to drop her towel and become his but then he suddenly kissed her on her forehead and then he was gone. Just gone. She was standing there, confused. Cold.

She was crying for several hours until she managed to change into her clothes and then she went out into the city. She went to Jeffersonian. It was quite early. She entered her office and spotted two objects on her desk. She sat down and immediately recognized the handwriting on the envelope. Her breathing was sharp and she was crying. She opened it.

_"Dear Bones,_

_My most beloved Temperance, if you are reading this, it means I wasn't able to tell you by myself. I'll take it strict first and then I may write down a little bit more. So the main issues are that I love you, don't doubt that for a second, I didn't mean to hurt you, and to save our work and your life as you like it… I am leaving. You are the best that is in my life, you, the incredible, amazing, beautiful, smart, by one word just perfect woman whom I love and I just can't ruin everything you ever believed in. We can't work together now and I can't be in DC anymore so I decided to leave. They put together my old unit so we are going back there to that damn war…"_

After these first sentences she was screaming and she was crying. When she finished the letter she was not able to breathe. He left there to safe her. He left to give her time. He left. He left her and his son and all his friends… he left. She should tell him yesterday when he came to her everything she was feeling and thinking about but she couldn't… Yesterday she couldn't and now he might not be coming back. She let him go.

She felt that she lost him. She fell apart. Her heart was ripped apart.

She opened the box he left there with the letter and she found several things. Small gifts for her. But in those several things was everything that was important for them both. He told her he loved her and she didn't tell him that she loved him too. She stood up and took her way to the sofa because she felt weak but after two steps her knees betrayed her and she felt down to the ground, letter and box in her hands. She was laying there, crying and screaming. Desperate. Angela found her and was not able to calm her down, not even a little.

Temperance gave her the letter to read it. Angela took it and then she watched her friend as she sat with her back against her table. The only man she really fell in love with left her and it was partially her fault. Oh this was just really big misunderstanding that broke their hearts. Just one unlucky little problem in communication. Angela looked at Bren. She was staring into nowhere and still crying. She was broken and there was no chance how to help her.

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_**All right, so this is the end. I think it is right to end it here but I am not completely sure so please let me know what you think, thanks a lot! Isobel**_


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